A cure for what ales you
by WillWork4Bacon
Summary: Grimdorks oneshot; John is reunited with everyone on the meteor, but he doesn't like it when he sees the new Rose.


**KARKAT: I THINK IT'S TIME WE HAD A... **  
**KARKAT: WHAT DID YOU CALL IT? **  
**KARKAT: AN INTERVENTION? **  
**DAVE: for rose? **  
**KARKAT: NO, NOT ROSE. **  
**KARKAT: WHY WOULD I BE TALKING ABOUT ROSE? **  
**KARKAT: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM THAT SHE NEEDS TO BE CONFRONTED ABOUT BY HER FRIENDS BEFORE SHE FLUSHES HER WHOLE LIFE DOWN THE GAPER, DOES SHE? **  
**DAVE: uh yeah kind of **  
**KARKAT: WHY? BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO DRINK THAT GOOFY HUMAN SOPORIFIC THAT MAKES HER A LOT FUNNIER AND MORE CHARMING THAN USUAL?**

* * *

John awoke with a jump on the couch. He just got out of another really weird dream bubble. Why did they always happen on his birthday? He looked around the room. Jade was supposed to be here waiting for him. Maybe she went off because something urgent came up. He got up and looked around again. Wait, is that... why is there a cup of Starbucks coffee on the table? How did that even get there? John decided not to think about it and left the gold Prospitian ship. He flew up and examined the planet he was on. There was green layered mountains everywhere and red stone support like structures scattered about. John looked around and saw no signs of life anywhere. Only the green that colored the planet, but not any underlings were even around. Then it got darker behind John. Someone was standing ebhind him. He turned about quick to see Jade floating behind him. Her skin was as dark as Rose when she was grimdark, and she was growling at him too. "Uh... Jade?" he said in a fearful tone. Then she barked at him, actually barked at him like an attack dog. She raised a hand that glowed with green energy. He saw a flash of green, then everything was black. But he could still see himself, he looked back and saw Skaia as a dot behind him. She teleported him outside of the session. He then noticed he wasn't alone. He looked back to see a guy about his age with blonde spiky hair, pink god tier robes with poofy shorts, and anime shades. John apporached him. "Hey." He greeted this strange guy. "Sup?" he greeted back.

"Are you Dave's brother?" John asked.

"If Dave is the dude with the aviators and red pajamas, then yeah." He told John. "I'm guessing that crazy dog chick teleported you here too?" Dirk asked.

"Yeah, that's Jade, my ecto-sister. She's normally not like that, I swear."

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that considering she jumped me in front of The Batterwitch. I think her crown lets her control animals and since your sister is a half-dog for some reason she's under the B-Witch's spell." He told John. John didn't really follow any of that and just responded with. "Guess so." Dirk then began to float off. "Hey, where are you going?" John asked.

"Off."

"Shouldn't we go back and save them?" John asked. Dirk stopped "We can't even if we want to. Skaia is protected by not only the veil of meteors but a thick ozone shield. We'd need something pretty tough to re-enter." Dirk told him. He began to float off again. "Hey, wait up!" John cried out as he began to follow.

They drifted for about 4 hours or so through the darkness. "Do you even know where we're going?" john asked. "Nope, just out wandering since we can't re-enter." Dirk told him. John wasn't tired since they can't get tired from floating but he was afraid they were lost in The Furthest Ring. He looked around and saw only darkness. He then bumped into Dirk. Dirk pointed and they saw a large meteor with a yellow, white, and black aura coming at them. "THAT would be the push we need to re-enter Skaia." Dirk told him. They both floated towards the incoming meteor. When they got there they saw two trolls on a platform. One was a little short with shaggy hair and nubby horns. He was yelling at another one who had pointy horns and red eyes. As he was yelling at her she noticed the two humans who had appeared on the meteor. She tried to say something to him, but he wouldn't let her get a word in. So she punched him in the knee and h let out a very loud. "OUCH!" she then pointed to the two humans who appeared. The male troll looked at them curiously. "Egbert? How the fuck did you get here?"

"Oh, you must be Karkat!" John said to him.

"Yes, i'm Karkat, let's get all the stupid formalities out of the way and answer my question. How in the human hell did you and Strider 2.0 get here?"

"Oh, Jade kinda went crazy and teleported us outside of Skaia..." Karkat stared at them then achieved a 2x facepalm combo. "Yeah, I think the Batterwitch is controlling her dog brain." Dirk told him. Then Dave came up the stairs to where they all were." What's going on up here?" He looked and saw his brother there. There was silence. Dave hadn't seen his brother since that brief moment in the dream bubble, and before that with a sword in his chest. No one said a word for awhile. Then Dave responded with "Sup?" Dirk just nodded and said "Sup?" back. The two brothers then embraced in a hug. Dave noticed John was there too. "You Egbert, how'd you two get here?" Dave asked him.

"Your dog friend is under the Batterwitch's control." Dirk told him as they broke off the hug.

"Hey, where's Rose? I haven't seen her in years." John asked. Dave, Karkat, and Terezi looked at each other as if they were keeping some big secret. John picked up on this and tilted his head in curiosity. Then behind him heard "Jooooohhhhhnnnnn!". He turned to see Rose in her god tier outift coming up a different set of stairs. She seemed different though. She stumbled up them and kinda half ran over to him. "Whassup Johnny?" She askeld him as she tried to keep her balance. John looked at her confused. "Rose, are you ok?" He asked her as she waned back and forth. "Justh peachy Mr. Egbret... egbrex... lol." Hey eyed her again. This wasn't the Rose he once knew and he had no clue why. "Yeah, Rose is kinda an alcoholic now..." Dave told him. Dirk then achieved the 2x facepalm combo too.

"Are you serious? Our Lalonde quits her drinking problem and your develops one?"

"Haha, really? Rose's mom quit drinking?" Dave asked his brother.

"Yeah, surprised me too. She still types like she's drunk, but I guess that's just normal for her at this point."

"I don't... I don't see a purrprlem here... heh heh purroblem, meow." Rose laughed to herself.

"Alright, everyone get back in the meteor. We need a game plan if we're going to take on The Condesce with Harley on her side now." Karkat ordered. Everyone lined up down the stairs to the meteor's interior. Dirk went last behind Terezi and glanced down. "Why are you not wearing pants?"

John entered the transportalizer and arrived in the meteor's library. Kanaya was standing by the table reading a book when john came in. She took notice of him immediately. "Oh, i'm not interrupting you or anything am I?" He asked her. She closed a book she was reading and smiled at him. "Not at all. Are we at the new session now?" She asked him.

"Not yet. Me and Dave's bro just got teleported outside it and we found our way here." He told her.

"Ah, I see..." She said a little disappointed.

"Have we talked before?" John asked her.

"I believe so, my handle was grimAuxiliatrix." She told him.

"Oh, I remember you! Rose used to talk about you a lot. Do you know what's making her drink now?" John asked. Her face drooped at hearing this. She turned away. "No, no I do not." She responded. John was a little thrown off by this. "Was it like a thing between you two?" John asked her.

"No, the 'thing' between us was ended by that." Kanaya told him. It took John a little to figure out what she meant by that.

"Woah, you two dated?!" He practically yelled out.

"Yes, yes we did." She responded, a bit surprised by his tone.

"I didn't know Rose liked girls."

"I'm not completely familiar with the topic of Human Sexuality, but the term she used for herself was Pansexual."

"What's that?" He asked her.

"She said 'she is not attracted to gender, rather to personality."

"Oh, so it's just like bisexual?... Oh right, you don't know what that is either." Before she could respond, the transportalizer sounded and Rose stumbled in. She went over to John and leaned on him. "Hey Jonh, where'd ya go?" She then noticed Kanaya who was looking at Rose awkwardly. Rose looked at her with a half-drunk face. "Oh... hey..." She said. Kanaya just nodded and went back to reading. "Come on John, let's go where it's not so uptight." She told him. John didn't know what to say and just stared at her for a little. "I take it you guys don't get along anymore?" Was the only thing he could think to say.

"Pfft, nah. Fussyfangs doesn't know how to have fun." Kanaya then closed her book quick and slammed it to the table with a thud. "Rose, I can most certainly find entertainment in many forms. Watching you self-destruct like this is not one of them." With that, she stormed out of the room. There was a silence that hung there for a little. Rose looked a little like that actually hurt her. She then forgot about it and took went to grab John's wrist. As she did, she lost her balance and fell over. John made a gust of wind blow her upright where he helped her balance. She smiled at him. "Why thank you Jonhathan." He helped her over to the transportalizer, which took them to Rose's alchemy lab. John took her over to the table and helped her sit down. She winked at him and he went to look at her alchemy lab. He examined all the machines and devices there were. "What is all this stuff?" He asked her.

"Oh post-SBURB alchemly stuff... alchemy."

"Neat, what kinda stuff do you make?" He turned to ask her. She had a mug out and a goofy drunk look on her face. "Shtuff like dis." She took a very loud and large sip from the mug. "Rose! Stop that!" John told her. He didn't like the new Rose, he wanted the old one back.

"Why, izzzh fun." She said with a goofy drunk smile.

"That's bad for Rose, quite took the cup from her. "I'd think you of all people would hate the stuff."

She tried to reach for the cup, but John held her back with a half-attempt since she was too drunk to really take it back from him. "Joooohhhnnn, give it back." She cried out.

"No Rose. this stuff is making you change. You're not the spooky intelligent girl who I was friends with, you're something else now."

"Yeah, imma more funs and stuff." Rose told him smiling.

"No Rose, you just think you are. You're being self destructive though, and I really don't want to see you like this."

"Aww, come on Johnny." She got up and almost lost her balance. "Ya just gotta know how to have fun."

"Rose, will you listen to me?!" John yelled out. Rose flinched back at being yelled at. "This isn't ok, we're about to enter the new session with our parents, what would your mom say if she saw you like this?"

Well she does it too so..."

"No she doesn't. Dave's bro said she stopped. What would she say if she saw you where she once was?"

"Umm..." Rose had nothing to say, partially because she was too drunk.

"Your mom did that her whole life, and look what kind of relationship you two had. I'm sorry to bring that up, but this isn't ok Rose." John looked at her with seriousness like he never had before. "This stuff is destroying you Rose, it's making you someone you're not. Please, we want the old Rose back. _I_ want the old Rose back. Last time I saw you, you were a corpse on the ground and now I see you again and... well I just don't like this ok? Your mom may have done this for whatever reason, but when you do it you're just hiding someone who's already beautiful..." Nothing was said from either. Both of them were in awkward silence. John set the mug down on the table. "Pleas Rose, think about what I said." John turned around and left through the transportalizer. Rose looked at the cup with much sadness in her face. John's words really hit her core.

Later, John was sitting on the ledge where he arrived at the meteor. He was staring at Skaia as the meteor approached It was getting close to the end. Soon he would have to help Jade somehow and save the new session with the help of everyone on the meteor. He was lost in thought of what was soon to come, but he couldn't stop thinking about Rose either. All those years without seeing her and now she's like this? He tried to keep his mind off it but he couldn't. He heard someone coming up to the platform. Rose was standing there in her orange Seer outfit. "Oh, hey..." John said very awkwardly. She held her hands behind her back and smile awkwardly. "Hello John." She greeted him. John noticed her tone changing and hope shot up in him. "Rose, are you sober now?" She walked over to him. "Yes, i've give my self time for the alcohol to flush out of my system." She sat behind him. "John..."

"Yeah Rose?"

"Thank you for talking some sense into me." She gave him a hug and held onto him tight. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. "It's no problem, sometimes we need our friends to talk some sense into us." John recalled almost going into his final gate from the bad advice Terezi gave him, and how Dave had to talk him out of it. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, especially since last time I had just died at the hands of Jack Noir and you had to meet our lips to revive me." John chuckled to himself.

"It's fine Rose, it was a little weird kissing your corpse though."

"Why, because you had to kiss me or because it was my lifeless body?" She inquired with a playful look in her eyes. John smiled and looked at her awkwardly at the same time. "Oh gee... I dunno... maybe it wouldn't be so bad kissing you normally." John told her. She got in closer to him. "Would you like to test that out?" John just stuttered nervously. "I guess... maybe..." his voice cracked which made Rose giggle a little. She held her mouth and felt embarrassed for giggling. John chuckled at hearing that.

"Did I just hear you giggle? The scary dark princess just giggled." He laughed to himself.

"Oh hush John and come here." She pulled him in and kissed him. He was surprised by the kiss but soon gave into it. It didn't even last half a minute but it felt like forever. They both smiled and blushed at each other after they broke it off. "So... would is still be weird?" She asked jokingly.

"Nope." He chuckled and she smiled at him. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you John, for everything. I know I don't say this enough or even show it, but I truly appreciate you." He smiled and patted her head. "I know Rose, i'm glad to have you too." They both hugged each other warmly. But they heard someone coming up. Kanaya appeared behind them. She saw John and Rose sitting next to each other. "There you are... Karkat was looking for you both, you should go see him. She turned to leave quickly but Rose shot up. "Kanaya, wait!" She stopped at hearing Rose's old tone of voice and turned to her. "Kanaya, i'm sorry... i'm sorry for hurting you or making you worry in any way with my alcohol addiction. I let a substance get the better of me and it tore us apart, and i'm sorry for that." Kanaya did not respond, instead smiling at hearing Rose say this. She walked up to the top of the steps and her and Rose both hugged to make up. john got up and smiled. The warm feeling was shared by all. He walked over to Rose and he and her held hands. Kanaya smiled still at the news of Rose's soberness. "I'm glad to see you're come off that soporific substance."

"Well sometimes we get help from those we least expect." She looked up at John and he smiled at her. Kanaya knew what was going on, but she was fine with it. She honestly felt happy that Rose was able to find someone else. She led them both down into the meteor where Karkat would plan out what to do about Jade and the new session.


End file.
